Sunday, December 23, 2007

Hellacious Holidays

I'm not sure "Hellacious" is a real word (doesn't seem to be in the dictionary) but I think we all know what it means hehe...... I love the holidays, what it's about, or what it's SUPPOSED to be about.....but the process,what it involves,what it has become, I HATE (well I don't HATE anything,but it's close..) This time of the year,well,I wish I was a kid again....not because of Santa and the presents and that whole thing(which was quite wonderful when I was a child) but the innocence and just being happy to BE.....there was no issue of political correctness or WHATEVER the proper term may be.....we said Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and Feliz Navidad in my part of the world.....Santa said HOHOHO and we smiled at people and gave a little nod AND we really meant those silent wishes for them and theirs.....
I'm all grown up now.....but I still mean those silent wishes that's behind the smile and little nod.......AM I INSANE?????? More often than not this year people are looking at me like I'm nuts.....some whacko walking around smiling at complete strangers.....well, I am a little whacko, but those that know me love me because of it and God bless 'em all!!! It was my own little project of the day, just smile at folks and see what happens, say Happy Holidays to someone for the heck of it, not the usual store clerk or food server(in retail it seems like we're programmed like a recording,it just comes out,force of habit.....)but to a total stranger, a real stranger in the middle of the mall, hauling ass by, looking for that last something or other that someone else may pick up before they can grab it.....just smile at 'em and say "Merry Christmas" and really mean it. So I went on my "Merry" venture, determined to succeed at my personal challenge to make at least 10 human beings make eye contact and reciprocate in some form or another.....oh well,maybe it was just my timing.....Oh, I got my reciprocation, just not quite what I "hoped" for. It was mostly "WHAT??!! and they'd keep going. A group of teenagers asked me if they could get "some" of what I smoked....haha A few people asked if they "knew" me. It made me feel kindof' sad to think people only expect a well wish from some one they know or that person who had performed some sort of service for them(you know the sales person, server etc I talked about earlier) When I answered "no" to their question, more than one of them looked at me get the idea. I'm actually smiling about this as I write, but I was disappointed in the result of my little project. Disappointed isn't the right word/emotion (you can't "expect" something from people you don't even know) maybe disillusioned or saddened are better expressions. Just when I thought I was defeated.......a little boy walked right up to me and smiled with all that light and brightness only children have and said "Merry Christmas Miss" touched my hand and walked away.........all is not lost
This post is dedicated to my father who taught me the real meaning of many,many things....
Raymond Reed Welch
9*22*15 / 12*20*98
Merry Christmas daddy...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Doing this!!

I'm not "trying" anymore....I'm going to do this. I think now on this computer my browser is updated enough that I don't keep losing posts before I post them...does that make sense??? It's been six months since I've had a successful post here.Alot has happened in that time,this time,whatever the time is. I don't like to say it's been a "bad" year perse, but it has been a little more difficult than usual....a growing time....mostly with some very intense relationships. It is said people come and go in our lives....appreciate what was good and release everything else....I guess I have a hard time releasing. I'm a fixer, a healer,even when I'm the one who is wronged and being broken....I want everything to be okay, and sometimes it's just not how it is in the real world. Understanding this "time" in my life has been very healing for me and guided me through a situation I never believed would ever did.....and I lived through it. I'm a better,stronger woman because of this and the world "did NOT come to an end"
AND so now it's time to get back to the task at hand and catch up on my BJPs. I'm a couple months behind,but I like that this is "My thing" and I can move along how ever I please. November and december will get done, just like january,febuary,march,april and may will be done.
Now if anyone wants to tell me how to get decent pics of the ones I do have finished, I'll be sure to post them hahaha I knew doing just one color for each month was going to be a pain in the ass to photograph.....guess that's why I did challenges